Display for Critique #5

bonsaikc

I believe this one is California juniper. Any comments? Feel free to critique the tree only, as it dominates the setting so completely.

Oh, and before anyone declares that this one shows some "inverse taper," please be advised that a venerable collected tree like this follows its own rules to a point.

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DSC_0007b.jpg (73.0 KB, 210 views)

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JohnQuinn

I think the tree would be better displayed on the right. While the early movement of the trunk leads the eye into the display, the apex of the tree ultimately brings the eye out of the display, towards the left. In fact, after I made the virtual, with the tree on the right, the inverse taper you pointed out also seems less distracting.

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toko2.jpg (34.1 KB, 85 views)

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ianb

I'm not sure I agree John, although you make some valid points I don't feel the leftward movement is that strong. In fact in your virtual I would probably like to tilt the tree 10-15 degrees to the left. In the original display I feel some more foliage extension to the lower right branch would bring the display into balance much more (and maybe a slightly shorter apex).

Just my thoughts

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mike_p

I think John is correct. My first thought was that the display was backwards. I also think the companion planting is too small and is overwhelmed by the bonsai.

Mike

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anttal63

as is , my eye follows the curve to the left then works around the silloutte of the floiage over the top of the apex towards the right, to lead me down to the companion. yep its directional pull works for me. yes there could be a little more extension on the right and the comp. could be larger but as is this composition works. there's great tension and release if you let yourself go with it.


taper; as marco said the junipers most important feature is not its taper but the quality of its deadwood.

overpowering; yep cause it can.

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jjeter

I would like to see more shari on the tree. The tree has some great lines that need to be highlighted. It looks like there is some shari there, but needs some lime sulfer to bring it out. I also think the top needs to be thined out, making 3 or 4 pads of folige to give it a more mature look.


KC, I love what you are doing with the display critiques. I think this is something that is missed in the bonsai community.

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grampz

In my opinion, this is another one of those beautiful 'strong' trees which would be much better displayed alone...It is quite possible an accent could be created to compliment the tree, however it really does not 'need' an accent plant or any other accoutrement's to be properly appreciated...This work has fantastic line, form, and movement, all contained within the tree...With the overall shape it leads the eye through the trunk, canopy, negative space, and protruding root/branch at the bottom left of the trunk, to begin the eye journey all over again, and observe those things over looked on the first pass...The second, and succeeding passes allows one to observe more and more detail with each journey of the eye...Is it possible to improve this movement by adding any object which will distract from this movement and lead the eye away from it?...

Concerning the mentioned 'reverse taper', this is only true IF the viewer in their own judgment finds it necessary to observe this as a miniature tree, or refuses to judge a work by anything other than the accepted 'rules'...

This tree would be better observed in the manner one would view a sculpture...It is truly a beautiful, 'natural appearing', living, sculpture...I appreciate the manner in which the canopy has been developed to further enhance the very natural appearance of the wonderful deadwood...The fact that it has not been 'dumbed down' to the over manicured appearance of the 'green helmet' is one of its' most outstanding features in my eyes...The foliage works very well to enhance and compliment the deadwood rather than compete with it...

IF the viewer only has the ability to appreciate how well a tree conforms to the so-called 'rules', they are limiting their own appreciation of an art-form which has many possibilities far beyond those guidelines...

Regards
Behr

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cantstopsmilin

i agree that the tree should be on the right and the accent plant on the left. THat was the curve of the tree doesn't lead your eye out of the display but rather brings it around so you notice the accent plant more. I feel it is more balanced this way as well. As for the tree, i like it a lot, i love the color of the dead wood how it is streaked in a sense and the way it curves in one big motion. I don't really have enough knowledge on juding displays to find to many faults with any one display, so going off of personal preference and taste, i would say not a bad display, though i do feel that the accent plant is a little small and overwhelmed.

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gregb

The apex of this tree is looking to the right; the accent is placed on the right. Technically correct. Apart from my intense desire to acquire a CA juniper after viewing this tree, I would like to see a hint of the live vein. And there is a lot of deadwood exposed that does not show any sign of oxidation. It looks as though the deadwood was worked very recently. I might hesitate to show this tree until the deadwood has had time to naturally oxidize. Otherwise, another excellent display, thanks for showing