Woodworking Icon/Celebrity

bonsaial1

As the huge Mercedes limousine pulls up in front of the new Munich Civic Auditorium, cheers can be heard roaring through the crowd. The glitter sparkles in the summer sun and the crowd has reached a crescendo in their chanting. The MC steps up to the red carpet and tells the rope gawkers that the “professional” is just a minute or two from exiting the limo.

A metallic sound is heard as they have the car door hooked up to a huge sound system. A huge cloud of “smoke” billows from the car like a Frankenstein movie gone badly. Suddenly, a leather clad leg and Alligator boot thrust from the car door. It rests there, bringing the crowd to a fever pitch and causing a few young ladies to faint. Then all at once the Professional steps from the limo. Leather clad from top to bottom and wearing his signature leather poncho. He cracks his whip for the crowd and gives it a toss to the screaming crowd as a souvenir.

In the crowd he sees his “rival”. He cannot utter his words. He has met this man before, but has not engaged him. He knows that the engagement could be today, for the “rival” has challenged him to a duel and the time is near.

The Professional begins his long walk down the Red Carpet, while the rival matches his every step. The rival makes his way to the entrance of the auditorium, but must make his way to his seat. He will not be on stage today; the time has not yet come.
As the professional makes his way to the stage, in the distance in the smoke can be seen the implements of today’s demonstration. Hitachi woodworking tools. His Axe of choice. Hitachi, The Professional’s choice has sponsored him for 7 years. A table saw, planer, routers, and shapers. A band saw and plenty of hand tools cover the benches. The roadies have done their job and have all the tools in place in their respective positions.

The crackle on the huge sound system sparks to life as the MC begins his oritation of the works of the Professional. As the theme song from Rocky plays in the background, the Professional makes his turn and greets the crowd. The poncho comes off, and once again the young ladies grouped at the stage swoon. The MC starts his introduction.

FROM THE DISTANT SHORES OF AMERICA, IT IS MY PRIVLEDGE TO INTRODUCE THE ONE, THE ONLY, AMERICA’S AL KEPPLER!

Off stage the rival is seething. As the professional makes ready his tools and looks over a huge pile of wood, he begins once again to turn to the crowd. In this pile of wood are woods of every species known to mortal man. Mahoganies from the entire planet. Coca Bola, Wenge, sapelle, bird’s eye maple, black walnut, paduak, myrtle, bacotte. Wood that would make any wood worker drool. This tour spares no expense and dozens of board feet of each wood await the Professional. The professional turns to the crowd and warns, “please do not try this at home, I am a professional. There are complexities and techniques that come from years of devoted training and working on this wood. Without the proper training and the Professional label, one could be seriously hurt or worse, ridiculed".

At this time the rival has had enough. He steps forward and dares step onto the stage. The rival looks into the crowd and utters the words that enflames the Professional.

“I AM WALTER PALL, I HAVE MADE A FEW BONSAI STANDS IN MY DAY AND I TAKE ISSUE WITH THE PROFESSIONAL. HE HAS SHOWN HIMSELF TO BE A MASTER WOODWORKER BUT PULLS HIS TROUSERS ON ONE LEG AT A TIME”.

Walter Pall goes on to explain that though his tables do not stand up to the professionals in design, technique, nor finish, he could learn a lot from the professional if he did not think that his celebrity statice gave him some kind of authority over those less learned. He also stated that using statements like “be sure to secure the sandpaper firmly in the sanding block before sanding” were trivial and probably understood fully by this engaging crowd.

Still the sight of Walter Pall and Al Keppler on stage together for the first time has brought the first three rows of young women to there knees and many have fully fainted again.

The two shake hands and Walter professes to fully watch and learn what the Professional wood worker has to say and hopes that he will throw at least one nugget of actual technique to the eager crowd.

A quick gallop to the waiting limo, more smoke and fireworks burst over Munich. The Professional is off to London and the Palladium. He has heard of another “Rival” and he goes by the name of “Heath”

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Experience is fundamental

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rockm

Gulp

Bruce Winter

Smoke is curling out of my 'puter.

saurak

would have been better if you a bit of WWE smackdown showdown

sauce

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http://www.Fourseasonsbonsai.com
The original Four Seasons Bonsai Club of Michigan.
Our guest master in August is Pedro Morales.
Tellys Greenhouse, 3301 John R road, Troy Mi. 48083

Four Seasons Bonsai Club meetings monthly.
Troy, Michigan

"Anything is possible when you don't know what you are doing"................someone famous I think.

RonMartin(deceased)

saurak

Can't wait for the commentator to say: "Oh no! He's applying the trunk bender!"
That's a submission hold u know .