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Shinji Critique #6 - Monterey Pine

 
 
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Old 6-Nov-2003   #1
bonsaial1
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Shinji Critique - Monterey Pine

NOTE: This post is part of a contest!

1. Entries in this forum are invisible until they have been moderated by Al Keppler, contest coordinator, and will probably not be revealed until the contest ends!

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Here is the display. Attach your entry for this display right here. Remember - it won't appear 'til bonsaiAl reveals it!

<hr>Species - Monterey pine
Style - Moyogi
Artist - Katsumi Kinoshita

Shinji as translated by Hideko:
"I could not skip this tree!"
" Number one attraction is the deeply fissured bark showing great age"
"The pot is graceful and fits the line of the tree"
"Level of technical skill is very high with this artist"
Things to change:
1. (while hard to see) " The health of the two lowest branches on the left are weak."
2. "Turn tree in pot 10 degrees to the left for better trunk line. This would help branch on lower right that seems to be floating."

"Regain health, turn trunk, and this tree would compete in Kokufu-Ten"
Attached Images
File Type: jpg monteraypine.jpg (57.1 KB, 244 views)
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Last edited by bonsaial1 : 15-Nov-2003 at 08:45 PM.
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Old 7-Nov-2003   #2
DeadLeaves
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Would like to see a definitive crown.
Open up the crown area a little more to see the trunk leading upward.
Get rid of the moss growing up the trunk.
#1 branch should be lower.
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Old 8-Nov-2003   #3
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I feel that this tree is overbalanced to the left, and would be better if the left branches were somewhat reduced.

I am also not sure that the "hard-cornered" stand is quite right with the rounded cornered pot.

(Once again, I'd love to have a tree like that!)
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Old 8-Nov-2003   #4
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I cant for the life of me pick anything I would change on this tree.

I would give this one the best in show for the trees given in this contest.....nice work

Paul
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Old 8-Nov-2003   #5
David Yedwab
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lovely, well balanced fits well especially rounded corner rectangle pot and stand. Can the lower right branch be strengthened somethow?
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Old 9-Nov-2003   #6
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I would like to see the right hand branch fill out a bit, and bring the left side in a bit.
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Old 9-Nov-2003   #7
clrosner
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I am not a fan of the Cypress, but the movement of the trunk and the downward slope of the branches reminds me of an old tree that has weathered many storms thrown at it by mother nature.

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Old 9-Nov-2003   #8
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Monterey Pine No.6
Magnificent specimen.
Possibly the left side lower branches could be ether wired down further and/or shortened.
Also further wiring down of the all the branches to try and form a less rounded top.
Pot is perfect for this tree.
Beautiful trunk movement and beautiful aged bark on trunk.
Needles are reducing.
Magnificent specimen.
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Old 10-Nov-2003   #9
Colin Lewis
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Excellent tree showing beautifully the evidence of real age. However, since the trunk sweeps toward the right, the heaviest low branch should also be on the right to correct the balance.
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Old 11-Nov-2003   #10
Lui
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what can I say Ilike this one the best wish it was mine.
there is a little light coming from the right side of the nebari which can be covered using a little soil. and I would try to shorten the space between the first and secdond branch on right side.
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