Shinji Critique #5 - Hackberry

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<hr>Species - Hackberry
Style - Broom
Artist - John Roehl

Shinji as tranlated by Hideko:

"This is a deciduous tree with very feminine features.
The pot is nice and has a color that would be very good for all seasons.

Things to change: absolutly nothing. Shinji went on to tell a story of a tree in his childhood that looked exactly like this hackberry. "It had a very large crown on a rather slim trunk." He enjoyed playing in its branches. This tree stirred emotions of childhood. "This is exactly what a tree is supposed to do. A tree does not have to be perfect, just stir emotion" (sorry guys and gals)

Attached Images

hackberry.jpg (64.3 KB, 249 views)

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DeadLeaves

Needs to be thinned out across the crown and trimmed along the bottom.
Ramification can not be seen, which takes away from the entire point of it being a broom style.

pdbbonsai

I feel this one has a couple areas that need addressing. Starting from the top. I would try to compact the height of the canopy down about 5-8 inches. With more refinement. The height gives me the impression that the trunk is too thin.

The trunk/tree leans left....I would straighten this during the next repot.

While repotting I would also choose a different pot. Perhaps a soft colored glaze to highlight the green of the foliage. I would also choose a shallower pot to bring out the strength of the trunk and nebari.

Paul

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Bart Thomas(deceased)

I feel that the nebari is unbalanced to the right.

I also feel that there is too much mass to the foliage, and that the tree would be better with, either a lower apex, or shorter branches.

I also note that the branching just above the trunk seems somewhat heavy in relation to the trunk

David Yedwab

great base and treunkline and initial branch spread into broom. would like more refinement in brabches and especially eliminate crossing branches right in the center of the foliage mass. Might like the pot to be glazed in a lighter color, as is, it appears a bit larger than I would like

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dbz12fan

I would like to see this in a different color pot. Probably something a little darker.

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Charles Bevan
Vero Beach, Fl

clrosner

The movement of the eye up the trunk is stopped by the crossing branches of the three lowest branches. If it had been my tree I would have removed the center branch.

Carl L. Rosner

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DavidN

Hackberry No.5
Broom style- canopy of tree needs to be reduced substantially due to size ratio of canopy to trunk is not very good.
The tree does not appear to be planted with a straight trunk in the pot. The tree seems to be leaning to the left slightly. Correct this to be standing straight in the pot.
The root spread is good but could be improved.
The tree lacks more lower branches on the canopy. Currently you can see how there are three branches growing upwards to form the canopy. There needs to be almost horizontal branches coming from a spot low down on these three branches to cover them up and to create a more uniform broom style.
The pot looks too heavy for the tree. A coloured glazed pot that is a little bit shallower and not as wide would be good.
Currently the tree is planted in the middle of the pot. This tree should be planted off centre to the left. So slightly left of centre due to the large root on the right would balance the composition.
No reverse taper which is very good.
Some of the inside branches are looking very heavy which is not what you are really after. You want more fine branching in the canopy.

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Colin Lewis

Beautiful nebari but the crown is visually waaay to heavy for the trunk

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