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Shinji Critique #4 - Needle Junipers

 
 
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Old 12-Nov-2003   #11
Ralph
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This reminds me of Naka's "Goshen". Excellent group, perfectly placed. The hill provides additional drama.
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Old 13-Nov-2003   #12
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Goshin-esque. Placement of trees is mediocre. Branches are mediocre. Container is beautiful, where's the stand? Are those rocks on the soil? Doesn't that make it more saikei/bonkei like? Get rid of the rocks. Accent plant is not necessary here.
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Old 14-Nov-2003   #13
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DISCLAIMER: I do not feel that I have put in the hours of study
necessary to be qualified to engage in formal critique of bonsai
displays. Nonetheless, for the purposes of this contest I will attempt
to offer a few impressions.

This is generally well-composed grouping of needle juniper. Trunk
position appears to be good (so far as I can tell from a single
front-side photo, anyway). The range of heights and girths is
nice. The smaller trees receeding to the back and to the right create
a nice within-the-forest perspective. In the general, the overall
canopy form is appealing and the foliage pads are well spaced, though
I'd prefer to see a little more breadth on a few of them, and a little
bit more communication among them, i.e., obvious lines or stairsteps
leading across the composition from one tree to the next. The choice
of pot is very good, it both harmonizes with and stabilizes the
composition.

That said, the forest ends abruptly at the left side and so I think
one could even consider a larger pot, extending well to this left side
in a sort of "implied continuation" of the forest. This would work
well with the within-forest perspective presented here.

The third-tallest tree is too thin for its height and should be
reduced.

The rocks, as currently placed, add nothing to the composition and
indeed distract from the desired image with the strong front-to-back
lines running along the left side and the middle of the forest. Their
placement almost appears as if a set of fields are walled off by crude
stone field fences, one fence along the back and others running front
to back. They seem to be set a bit high in the soil. If so many rocks
are to placed, at least some reasonable fraction of them should be
more deeply buried so that one has a sense of just the tops emerging
above the soil.

The accent plant is inappropraite in many ways, and the display would
be much better without it. First of all, presumably because of the
limited size of the stand the accent has been placed much too close,
cramping the forest rather than communicating with it. The solution
here is to leave it out, not to jam it in! Second, the accent's
rectangular pot - without any sort of base - clashes with the broader
rectangle of the forest planting. Finally, the plant itself does not
seem to complement the image offered by the forest. If one was
determined to use an accent here, I'd like to see it spaced far away,
in a curved or rustic pot, that speaks to the general mountain forest
feel of the main piece. Perhaps a columbine? (Alright, hard to get
those to flower in late October. Fair enough.) Miniature violet?
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Old 14-Nov-2003   #14
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Trees behind the large front trunk should be more visible. I also think that there should be some more shorter additions to the left to form a triangle appearance for the grouping. Less Rocks perhaps one rock placed closer to the largest tree. Lesley
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Old 15-Nov-2003   #15
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