Shinji Critique #2 - Needle Juniper

Jay

Nice tree, would like to see it with a little more development in the folage pads

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A Bonsai student living with his trees at N 44.37 W 77.49...
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Ralph

The potting soil is to sparse and perfect, it detracts from the power of this otherwise perfect bonsai.

capobianco

Deadwood too large. Not enough carving to lighten the deadwood. More carving would have created better taper.
Container is adequate. Is the white thing it's resting on a stand? If so, no good. If no stand, then that's no good too. Tree appears to be healthy and well groomed. Tough to tell from the photo. The lower dead branches should be carved to lighten the form. There aren't enough 'live' front branches. The tree is too obvious.

Carl_Bergstrom

DISCLAIMER: I do not feel that I have put in the hours of study
necessary to be qualified to engage in formal critique of bonsai
displays. Nonetheless, for the purposes of this contest I will attempt
to offer a few impressions.

While I appreciate the image at which the artist has aimed, I do not
this find the composition to be particularly successful.

The front view of the tree offers too straight of lines, even for a
formal upright. As a result, the taper carved into the composition
loses its power to convince. The main culprit here is the exactly
vertical, completely straight right edge of the live
vein. Additionally, the dead wood does not have enough movement to get
away with being so extensive and visually dominant - looking at all
that straight dead wood, the eye can't help but see
"two-by-four". This could be remedied in part by additional foliage
crossing the overly-broad expanse of dead wood. Also, a more jagged,
extensively carved apex would help considerably in this regard.

Another difficulty is that the branches emerge chaotically at a range of
inconsistant angles, and the implied lines of many of the jin cross
the lines of several branches.

Finally, the tree should be positioned much closer to the center of
the pot, which itself is somewhat too feminine / informal for the
tree. I'd perfer to see straight-cut sides and more powerful rivets if
a similar drum or oval-drum style were to be used.

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In love with trees

Lesley

Nice tree but maybe it should have more tapering and less Shari.
The lowest jins look like bar branches to me one should be removed. Lesley

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