ATM: Juniper Procumbens - Critique

Thomas_J.

Walter,
here is a juniper procumbens specimen of mine for critique.
I've been working with it for a year and a half. First pic is a little small. The pot will be changed to a bit shallower one next Spring.

Attached Images

jun lit 9-03#88(21).jpg (24.2 KB, 534 views)

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Thomas J.

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Thomas_J.

This next pic is a little larger and with a different background.

Attached Images

jun lit 9-03#55(35).jpg (49.2 KB, 536 views)

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Thomas J.

Walter_Pall

Thomas,

The crown is far to big, the pot is far too big. The crown should be reduced to much less than 50 % of it's present size.
While doing this you should get rid of the symmetry. Considerably reduce one side more than the other. It seems that the left side should be the shorter one.
Get rid of the scalene triangle. This is a mistake. Old trees don't look like this. Make a rounded top. The concept of a scalene triangle is oldfashioned unless you want to show a young tree or a spruce or a redwood or similar. With your tree you definitely want to show a pine tree. Do you realize that junipers never are styled to look like junipers?
The pot kills the tree. It should be one third of the optical weight at present. Besides the size I wonder whether this very masculine pot really fits the tree. I wold prefer a much more feminine pot. After restyling with a rounded shape this should be clear.

Here is my suggestion which should be possible. I would feel comfortable with still reducing the crown and taking out another 50 % of the foliage. Then the pot could still be reduced.

best regards
Walter Pall

Attached Images

jun lit 9-03#55(35)2.jpg (61.9 KB, 505 views)

Thomas_J.

Walter,
Hmmm, that is somewhat of a pretty radical change, at least the way I see it for what suits my taste.I understand what your saying in your explanation for the change, I guess seeing the tree in the virtual picture that you did is kind of throwing me off from what I had envisioned. I will agree however that the pot is a bit too deep as I stated in the first picture. I do like the pot you chose in your viritual. I hope others will weigh in on this critique and give their thoughts about changing or not changing the direction of this tree. Thanks for taking the time.
Thomas J.

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Thomas J.

Walter_Pall

Thomas,

I think I get what you are aiming for: is it true that you would be happy with your tree if only the trunk were about four times fatter?
If yes, then I can tell you that this will NEVER happen. If you go on with your tree as is it will always have a trunk which is much too slim for the crown or a crown, which is much too big for the trunk.
It is one thing what you envisage and another one what is possible.
So what do you think is the future of the tree besides having a smaller pot?
If you leave your tree as is, it is just an amateurish bonsai with no real future.

best regards
Walter Pall

bnsaijim

Thomas, Walter...

Excellent wisdom in the last post. Probably not what Thomas wanted to hear, but you pay yer money and take yer chances, eh?

That is what I thought- a "pretty bonsai", a crowd pleaser perhaps, but not really indicative of an aged juniper, no impression of height in miniature. A cookie cutter product, the bad way.

Procumbens, including this one, can have tasty little trunks, and respond quite well to technique. It is obviously quite healthy!

I would agree with Walter's final suggestion of reducing the foliage masses even further. This would bring out the tree's movement, which, left as is, is a cone sitting on a rearing snake.

There are probably several additional options to Walter's proposed virtual. I think the key being much less foliage, carefully planned.

I also think I'm seeing a bulge where the crown foliage emerges. If so, that should be better disguised as it is highly exposed.

Sincerely,

Jim Stone
TX

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Jim Stone
Seki Bonsai Studio
sekibonsai.com
Santa Fe, TX

treenut

I think Walters changes are an abomination, In fact I can't even see why you would ask about changing the tree at all, it's perfect!

Mittar

The virtual Walter provided doesn't do his Ideas justice, IMO. I agree with his prognosis though.

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Knees in the breeze.

Jay

Here is this novice's opinion. When I first saw the tree I said to my self... wow! This is a beaut. Then I read Walter's comments and looked at his vert. It all made sense. The tree as it is may be attractive (it is) but it is not what it should/could be. Walter has seen the inner tree and has proposed away to bring it out. Walters tree is much older and mature looking than the original.


Jay

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