suggestions for this saikei?

denny

i just made this,and even though the plant isnt much more than a seedling i rather proud of the design.
as usual,im open to criticism.

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Denny
Still Growing in zone 9
So.Cal.

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denny

slience is a hard thing to interpret.
with my inscure personality type i usually interpret it as:what a dum thing to post,why are you wasting our time.

or maybe your all so overcome with my talent ive struck you dum?

__________________
Denny
Still Growing in zone 9
So.Cal.

TreeBay

I think I just entirely missed seeing this post for some reason, Denny.

I think you've made good use of the space and the material, and the general appearance is pleasing and peaceful. For some reason I do get the feeling the little guy on the bridge is the centerpoint and the plant is an accent.

The soft edges - curved bridge, oval pot, round gravel, polished rivers stones and oval leaves - leave me looking for some hard edges. I wonder how it would look with some grey feather rock in lieu of the two stones?

On the other hand that standing rock on the left is a good compositional element. The one in the foreground looks a little unsettled. How about bedding it down another half inch or so to give it a more established look?

Regards,

Matt

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bonsaial1

I too must have missed this post. i think it was during the time that Denny was trying to get the picture to post on his reply's. i will comment about this tree after the chat. I'm BBQing right now. see ya at 7:30

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bonsaial1

Ha! bet you thought I wouldn't come back. well the tree.. The tree itself is fine I am not one for tropicals but the plant seems to have some good movement even though it is still quite small. The only real drawback that I have is the bridge and mudman. The rocks are ok, and the one seems to be a real winner for a shohin size suiseki. Design is good and the plant seems to be growing well. The only other thing I would do is get a little smaller topping stone. It seems a little large for the pot. The bridge might work if you had a reason for the bridge. Maybe you could incorporate the whole design to a penjing or saikai when you decide to repot. You could use the stones to make a retaining wall with no soil or fine pebbles to simulate a stream then let you plant arch over the "water" and the you would have a reason for the bridge. You would also have some "visual speed" and your eye would not seem to be directed to the opening of the bridge. also you could incorparate the man on the bank, this would be an accent rather than a bullseye centered on the bridge. Remember in the East there in no symetry(s). Well thats enough about that. let me know what you think about those ideas.

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denny

thanks matt and bonsaial.youve inspired me to make changes.
no criticism is too harsh,im here to learn.
i know you know i know,and you know too, i dont have to agree.
by the way,i couldnt find a definition for"penjing".what does it mean?

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Denny
Still Growing in zone 9
So.Cal.

TreeBay

Hi Denny,

PENJING are Chinese tray landscapes, the oldest form from which the modern art of bonsai developed as we know it today.

Here is a link to a definition within a great site on penjing:

http://www.venuscomm.com/Penjingdef.html

After you've read it, click their home link at the bottom and explore the rest of the site. There is a great gallery there too!

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denny

ok,i did some more work on it,and this is what i come up with.

__________________
Denny
Still Growing in zone 9
So.Cal.