Self Critique Al Keppler

bonsaial1

This trident maple is about 40 years old. It was started as a layering and is most likely from China. The overall look of the tree from the photo is pleasing and represents the ideals of bonsai.

Positives:
1. The trunk is very large and buttressed. It flows into the soil and shows some basal flare. There seems to be a great amount of taper in the trunk.
2. The nebari is present and shows some age.
3. The form of the tree is in proportion with the size of the tree and seems adaquately pinched.
4. Branch structure is well formed, and meets the requirements for open spaces with in the foliage.
5. Tree looks very healthy and the leaves seem reduced well.
6. The apex sits firmly over the base of the trunk. Very traditional moyogi style

The negatives:
1. The branching is the most visable flaw. The first branch on the right needs to have some branch structure showing for the illusion of age. It is missing on this tree.( and for good reason, it 'is' missing)
2. The second branch is small in proportion to the first branch and looks like it could be shaded out by the third branch or the one above it.
3. The nebari could be stronger. The roots coming off the right side of the trunk seem good, but their counterparts are missing.
4. The pot does not help create the best image for this tree. While the bamboo and the soft corners help, it would look best in a low large oval with either yellow or biscuit brown glaze. I opt for the yellow.
5. The apex part of the canopy is troubling. I feel the the very top is sort of pom pom like. The apex needs to spread more and fill a larger image to fully acentuate the trees lines and form.
6. The second branch on the right seems to be a pocket branch and should either lessoned in size or removed. At this point I see why it is retained as it would make a very large void in this part of the tree.
7. The left side is less structured then the right. I feel that the left side needs lengthening in the branches to fill out the future image for the tree.
8. for those wishing to critique the whole picture, the stand is too small.

A very nice tree with some flaws, but nothing too large to overcome. The nebari can be fixed with some thread grafts or inarch grafts in the spring. A repot would do wonders. The branches just need more time to thicken and I suspect this will happen over the next couple of years. A thickening of the apex could happen in a season and I plan on focusing on that next year.

All are welcome to critique this tree.

Attached Images

trident.JPG (51.3 KB, 141 views)

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DavidN

Al,
I'd like to give this a go however I find it difficult critique a two dimensional tree.

Agreed the trunk base is pleasing.

Agreed as well.

Tree has nice form but this all depends on what look you are trying to achieve. It seems you are aiming for a traditional form moyogi with the branching in the right places and space for birds to fly through. My personal taste is to have a more fuller rounded top porpotion of the tree.

Again this comes down to personal taste. I like seeing the lower branches have space and structure but my personal taste is to have the canopy more full and not require individual branches to have space.

Agreed.

Agreed if that is the style you are after.

Agreed. The first branch is not full enough. I would like to see a more fuller branch there.

Hard to tell in 2 dimensional.

I think the nebari is good. You don't have to have huge root spread like you see in Japanese trees but more realistic ones are nice too.

Agreed a nice glazed low oval sounds good.

This is my major dislike of the tree. I agree it is pom pom in nature and why I like to see decidious trees with more fuller and rounded canopies. It seem you don't have enough branching to achieve this more fuller canopy.

It might be a pocket branch but if removed the gap would be too great. It is a required branch to keep and I believe it could possibly be disguised.

Again I feel this comes back to having a better canopy.

Al, I love the trunk on this trident. I love the base of the trunk and the colour of it. It is powerful and has movement. This tree has obviously been grown to form a future moyogi style and this is definitely the style you should go for.

I have two possible suggestions/vituals that I would consider for this tree if it were mine.

The first one is to keep the branching as is and work on having a fuller canopy.

The second requires the removal of the lower branches and exposing that beautiful trunk and having a full canopy.

I believe that because the basic structure of the tree will always have to be a moyogi style then a naturalistic style is out of the question and the more "pine" style will be what should be attempted.

I hope I have made sense.

Here are the two virtuals for the above suggestions. I haven't changed the pot though.

Attached Images

	tridentALa.jpg (57.4 KB, 50 views)
	tridentALb.jpg (49.6 KB, 60 views)

Bart Thomas(deceased)

Al:

This term is new to me. WOuld you (or someone) please add it to the WIKI?

Thanks.

Ralph

I am curious how much Walter would say, how about putting it in "Ask The Master"?

Also if I may request, do you have a picture of it without leaves? I agree, the canopy stands to gain the most from improvement.
I know you were asking for a critique, but I also want to know how do you go about improving (widening) the canopy?

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bonsaial1

I am pretty sure Walter will find it here and could give a critique.

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bonsaial1

Ralph, here is a pic of the tree during defoliation last year in June.Second pic is after repotting in Feb. 2004. First bonsai pot.

Showing the tree bare is a good time to ask the follow up question.

Why have I allowed the tree to look the way it does now?
Why have I not taken the necessary steps to correct the canopy?

Attached Images

	defoliatedmaple.JPG (60.4 KB, 35 views)
	125l.JPG (34.9 KB, 42 views)

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TreeBay

I added this term and several others under the general category Design flaws. Much of it came from this thread

A Pruning Primer

Regards,

Matt

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dbz12fan

Here is my opinion on where Al should go with this tree. I also like David's second virt.

Attached Images

trident virt.jpg (19.1 KB, 25 views)

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