You vs a Master

bnsaijim

The "masters" of course (quotes and case are intentional ) or perhaps "MASTERS" is more apropriate...Course, I can bring along my 10 y.o. to do his own. Trouble is he usually knows what he's talking about! Payback is a what?!?

Advertisement

RonMartin(deceased)

FWIW I'm off to Asheville. See you all when I get back

dbdotdot

Gee Ron...I I bet you thought you'd ACTUALLY get real, live critiques!

Bart Thomas(deceased)

Charles is on the road during the posting period. He has asked me to post his critique:


Disclaimer: I do not feel that I am qualified to critique Ron’s trees. Ron has graciously allowed me to both compliment and bash some of the finest trees in his collection, and I have tried my best to thoroughly evaluate them. I would like to thank Ron for taking my criticisms without complaint.

Bald Cypress:
This cypress has nice basal flare with eloquent taper and movement all the way to the apex of the tree. The knees of the cypress add interest to the composition, yet they are out of scale with the tree. The browning leaves are distracting, but typical for cypress at this time of the year. The overall shape of the tree is quite pleasing, with the triangle of the silhouette not extending further than the flare at the base. The compact silhouette adds to the effect of the basal flare. Branch structure seems to be good from the picture. The branches, however, are far too small for the size of the trunk. This can only be corrected with time. The pot appears to be a mica pot, which Ron often uses for his trees. A mica pot would not be acceptable for most large-scale shows. An unglazed oval pot with a masculine appearance would be more appropriate for the tree. The depth of the current pot is too deep for the composition. Even though the trunk is wider than the depth of the pot, I would recommend reducing the depth in half if possible. Aside from those minor flaws, this tree is well on its way to becoming a quality bonsai.

Chinese Elm:
This elm, much like the cypress has nice movement ant taper throughout the tree. The nebari is wonderful, moving in the direction of the trunk. The rounded apex is quite appropriate for the species. Branching appears to be in good placement from the photo. The branches for this elm are nicely in scale for the trunk. The tree, however, seems off balance due to the left tilt of the silhouette. This could probably be fixed through guy wires. The only major problem for this tree is that it is in a mica pot. A shallow glazed oval would improve the overall image and accentuate the trees femininity. Also, the lowest right hand branch appears to need some more refinement. The new growth on this branch is in the correct places, but is not dense enough right now. This can only be achieved with time. The corrections on this Chinese Elm would take much less time than that those of the cypress.
__________________
Charles Bevan
Vero Beach, Fl
Zone 9B

Bart Thomas(deceased)

Here is the rest of Charles Bevan's critque:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brazilian Rain Tree:
This Rain Tree is certainly one of the older rain trees around the States. The Brazilian Rain Tree species typically has a poor nebari and lack of taper. Ron’s tree is no exception to these faults. Although the first branch is smaller in thickness than the second branch, it is typical of rain trees to do this; therefore, it gives the tree character. The silhouette gives a tropical rain tree feel, so it is fitting for the species. The current pot is much higher quality than those of the trees previously shown. The pot, however, does not fit the composition. It is small and restricts the tree into being a “bonsai”. A large oval marble slab would give the finishing touches to the tree and its naturalistic look. The tree is filled with faults commonly seen in Brazilian Rain Trees, yet when these faults are accentuated, it often makes a beautiful naturalistic composition.

Kingsville Boxwood:
This boxwood has a wonderful nebari and basal flare. The taper is both gradual and subtle, which is pleasing to the eye. The rounded silhouette is very effective for this composition. Branch placement appears to be good, but the foliage hides many of the branches. This is acceptable for this species because they naturally have dense growth. There is little to criticize for this tree aside from the pot choice. The rounded silhouette, subtle taper, and glossy foliage, implies that this is a feminine tree. Therefore, a feminine pot should be chosen to compliment it. A shallow oval pot, either glazed or unglazed, would be more fitting for the composition.

Black Olive:
Black olives are one of the most difficult tropical species to style and develop, so I must compliment Ron on his wonderful work with this tree. The tree portrays a spooky image, similar to the compositions of Nick Lenz. The nebari looks very good compared to others of this species. There is, however, little taper until the top third of the tree. Like the other trees up for critique, the branch placement is good, and does not need any correcting. It would be nice if the foliage filled in a bit more, but bucida typically have very flat pads. So, Ron has done a nice job with what he has accomplished so far. The pot choice is good for this rather masculine tree, but the pot is a little too deep for the current composition. By making it a bit shallower and wider, it is much more fitting to the composition. This is a fine tree to finish off the critique, and needs little work to make it top quality. I look forward to seeing these trees in the future as they progress and would like to thank Ron for giving me the opportunity to critique his highest quality trees.
__________________
Charles Bevan
Vero Beach, Fl
Zone 9B

bonsaial1

Ron Martin Critique

The Bald Cypress
I have no idea why this tree was even posted. I hope you respect Mr. Zhao more than the forum by showing a more finely groomed tree. ( edit: I sometimes forget that the growing season is not 10 months like here in Ca. If the leaves are turning brown due to weather I apologize. If not clean it up next time for an appropriate critique)

The positives:
1. Wonderful large trunk. The base flares and tapers to a small point to the top of the tree. One can almost see the knees starting to form near the base.
2. Planted nicely into the container. I like the orientation and the placement.

The negatives:
1. This tree is not ready to be shown in an exhibit. (I’m critiquing from the image presented)
2. The canopy shows no evidence of styling and frankly looks in need of training.
3. This tree at this time tells no story. I feel that the trunk is screaming to tell a story, but the canopy is thumbing its nose at us.
4. For me personally, I would never even think about showing a tree in a mica pot. While I think the orientation in the pot is fine, this deep oval mica pot is totally wrong for this plant. This tree needs a very rugged, heavily nail-headed masculine drum pot. This is a masculine tree, and needs no softening with a feminine pot. It needs reinforcement from the heavy pot.
5. Without some work on that canopy, this is just “Jabba the Wood”.

The Elm
This tree is wonderful in so many ways, yet artistically it could be improved a hundred fold in one year with minor changes.

The positives:
1. Heavy trunk with a very nice trunk width to height ratio. Probably around 6/1.
2. The shape of the trunk is very nice, with great movement and fantastic taper.
3. Branch structure is detailed and tertiary branching looks finely ramified.
4. The trees form looks pleasing and seems pinched adequately.

The negatives:
1. The nebari on this tree while pleasing, seems only one sided.
2. The shape of the trunk and the direction would indicate a slanting style, yet the canopy does not reflect this.
3. This canopy would be right at home on a perfect broom style tree, or a similar Moyogi tree.
4. Keeping the canopy in this configuration would need a tilt to the right to bring it into balance. It sits too far to the right for a broom or Moyogi, yet does not sit far enough to the left for a proper slant style.
5. The root selection for a slanting style would be most appropriate since the bulk of the roots are on the right and the tree slants to the left. This arrangement would make more sense since the roots would grow larger on this side to help stabilize the tree in wind.
6. The roots also look more Chinese in style, and therefore the tree should be styled more Penjing. This canopy needs more open spaces for a slanting style and the branches should be styled to reflect a more slanting view.
7. Again I would never show a tree in mica, and would reserve that for training, which is OK.
8. In the slanting style this would be most thrilling on a natural slab, or a low rectangle pot. Even better would be a single tree arrangement on a marble tray with a large water element on the left with the tree arching gracefully over the water from a rock laced land element on the right. I think Zhao will be of immense help here.

Brazilian Rain Tree
This tree is the most troubling for me. It will be interesting if Ron were to give a critique at the end as to why some of these trees were chosen over others.

The positives:
1. The tree seems very healthy and the foliage is marvelous. I am not familiar with this species and can go on form only. (I have not seen a real B. R. tree) Since bonsai is abstract I will critique on those merits as presented here?

Negatives:
1. This trunk is uninteresting, there is not much taper and the line is poor. There are many straight sections, and the trunk to height ratio seems too large. Probably around 13/1.
2. The trunk seems almost more suited to literati than to Moyogi, which is the present form.
3. The first branch, the one on the left is small in comparison to the others, and starts too high on the trunk. It may start in the bottom third, but the second branch is to far removed to help in the form.
4. The photo gives an indication of some reverse taper in the lower trunk, probably due to the whorl of branches that was there indicated by all the stubs in that location. The trunk grew above the branches but was slow below.
5. The shape of this tree is confusing. It seems not to fit any form I am aware of, and if the naturalistic style is the form, it still needs some styling in my opinion. This canopy does nothing for the inadequacies present in the trunk. Sometimes small things can be overlooked if something else really overshadows the flaws.
6. I have no idea what the small branch is there for? I suppose it fills a void left on the bottom half of the tree if removed, so I would do what the trunk and branches are screaming for. Literati!
7. Finely a ceramic pot! And the most enigmatic pot ever made. A red crackle black Shigaraki. There is only one guy on the planet that can get away with planting in this pot. Masahiko Kimura. This is a pot for the most masculine deadwood carved juniper you have ever seen. Something has to be marvelous to draw some attention away from this pot. Certainly not a feminine delicately styled B.R. tree.
8. Cut off the small first branch, cut off the large second branch, and style what’s left in an appropriate Literati. Pot it into an irregular, plain, rustic but feminine Bunjingi pot. No nail heads.

Boxwood

From the photograph, this looks to be a very nice tree. Nice foliage shape for this trunk and well formed. In general, a very nice tree.

The positives:
1. The trunk shape is well formed for this style of tree. The spreading oak style is well suited for boxwood and this tree is no exception. The base of the trunk flares into the soil very realistically and the nebari is shown well.
2. The branches are formed very nice and radiate from the trunk just like a huge oak tree.
3. The shape of the foliage is pleasing and is well ramified.

The negatives:
1. The foliage mass is too large for the trunk. While trees in nature have very small trunks realitive to the foliage mass, I feel that when reduced to bonsai, the foliage should be reduced at least 25% less than the same tree in nature.
2. This tree needs some open spaces in the canopy. Even large spreading trees in nature have open places within the structure. Open spaces would make this tree pop.
3. This pot is wrong for this tree. While the pot hints at feminine, the tree presents a different type of feminine image. While I think that a rectangle pot could work, it would have to be shallower to present itself well. I would think that a dark green low oval would be more appropriate. I have also seen boxwoods in yellow pots and the are really nice.

This tree would not need much work done to really improve the tree dramatically. A tweak here and there, and a few open places, and a repot and it would really sing.

Black Olive

This tree is done in a more traditional pine tree style. More groomed than we have seen from Ron.

The positives:
1. Not being familiar with the species, I can only guess about the growth habits of this tree. I can be almost positive that they do not grow like a pine tree. This is not a bad thing, just not the best thing.
2. Branches have been developed well, and show great ramification.

The negatives:
3. First and second branch on the same side of the tree within the first third. First branch looks like it is getting shaded out. I would contemplate cutting out first or second branch. First branch seems the likely candidate.
4. Trunks looks to have reverse taper, with swelling in the middle of the trunk.
5. First 2/3 of trunk has no taper and looks rather boring. Curves are too subtle and looks rigid.
6. I would consider flattening out the canopy to look more like the boxwood in the previous photo.
7. Another mica pot. I think “showing” bonsai deserves to be shown in a display pot. I feel that renewing vigor in a tree should be done from time to time. If this is the case then the tree should not be shown in its pajama’s.
8. The pot that the boxwood is in now would be a great pot for this tree now. It would be even better if the canopy were flattened out.

I want to thank Ron for allowing me the time to critique these trees. A critique is in no way a negative thing and can only serve to heighten awareness to things that the owner/artist may not see. Of course they may see them, but wish to leave them the way they are. That’s OK too!
In general a great group of trees and Ron should feel proud to be in the company of someone like Zhao. A critique from a master is a wonderful thing, and the chance should never be ignored if presented in a club or state show.

Regards, Bonsai-al

__________________
I been kidding the last seven years.
no.... really!

John Dixon

Ron,

Being I'll see these trees in around 24 hours, I'm just going to critique one and see if my opinion changes once I see it in person.

The bald cypress:

This is an outstanding example of American collected material. The trunk and knees invoke great age and power. The sparse foliage is typical of these specimens, although I would like to see some more ramification. Substantially more foliage is not necessary, just a little more "tactical" tweaking. The taper and great size of the trunk are its best attributes. It would seem counter-productive to hide them with too much green growth.
(BTW- the foliage is changing on some of my bald cypress here in NC too. It is getting that time, so don't think there is something "wrong" with Ron's).

I have to agree with Al about the pot. I know that you (Ron) are big into mica pots, and while I do have many and realize the value they possess, I do not find them acceptable for formal presentation. I will say that there are some, usually the drum-type, that are somewhat difficult to identify as mica with just a glance, but they are the exception to the rule. The pot the BC is in, is immediately identified. If it does not "appear" to be mica I'm okay with it (and if you have to thump it to know, you shouldn't be that picky).

The actual depth of the pot is a distraction to me. It makes the BC appear short and squat, whereas a shallower and longer pot would compliment it is large and immense. A much more powerful presentation. I personally would prefer an unglazed or subdued glazed pot with a single pronounced lip. This is the most important factor, in my opinion, to change this tree into a really good specimen.

Anyway, I really like the direction this tree is heading in. I only comment on what I know I would do if it were mine. We'll see if I keep the same opinion AFTER I get back from Asheville.


John

__________________
John Dixon

Si vis pacem parabellum

Stay off the trails of others, that's where the booby-traps are.

Bart Thomas(deceased)

Al:

The growth habit of Brazilian Rain Trees is often problematic, especially when viewed in 2 dimensions. Reverse taper is very common, particularly in younger trees. The trunk will often flatten out (Think of a cobra's hood), which will give a false impression of reverse taper.

The best BRT I have seen is Jim Moody's. Charles Bevan has posted a picture of it (along with him ) in the gallery. This may give you an idea of the challenges the tree presents to those used to "traditional" bonsai. (By the way, most of the BRTs in North America are descended from this tree.)

None of this has any bearing on your critique, but you seem like the sort who might be interested.

Regards,

Bart

Alasdair

I think the third tree is over ballance to the right hand side of the picture. mabe planting it in a shallow oval po would benefit it some.