critique of number 3

Walter_Pall

This is a nice little shohin cascade. For a first styling from virgin raw material it is very good. The movement is gentle and gives a warm natural feeling. The fact tahat all branches have been placed into their position with more or less force is not visible here. The proportions are good and the pot is already pretty good for this tree.

In general I suggest to do go exactly as far as is shown her with a first styling. One decides about the general form and dimensions, wraps wire around the thicker branches and then shapes the forseen image. The result is a rough sketch. It is normally the best thing to leave it at that for the time being and give the tree rest for a few months. Then comes the refinement and the smaller branches are wired and even many very small ones. The result will look much better than the original first styling.

Now this is contest and I think it would have been OK to do both steps in one with this tree. The stepwise styling is done becasue the tree suffers some sort of trauma when bent much. I think this tree did not suffer much from first styling though. And if it did it was probably not the very best mateial for a contest like this.

What I am trying to say her is this: In a contest situation you go as far as feasible to make the very best image. I would have gone one step further and refined the tree considerably by wiring much more.

(So is this image not a very natural one, would it not qualify as naturalistic style? No, it is a rough sketch of a bonsai. Naturalistic has NOTHING to do with leaving a tree untidy and leaving most things the way nature has made them. It is not about a method, it is about the result. The naturalistic result can well be achieved with very artificial methods.)

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Walter_Pall

I think with a lot of wire this image could have been achieved.
It is the same tree, of course, but much more refined.

The first two winners had a clear advantage by having gone very far in refinement of their trees.

Just for the records: this is a rather traditional, classical (whatever that means) style in my eyes.

Opinions, remarks etc. are most welcome, also radically different ones.

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John Dixon

Walter,

When I first saw this entry, I felt a lot of selective branch removal made the majority of the overal image. I did not see a lot of wiring-induced repositioning, and I thought that it showed the stylist has a good eye for what the material had inside it. I wanted some more movement in the twigging and secondary branching, still the initial outline was very nice.

At first, the pot appeared too big, but with the increase of foliage the pot will be more complementary. I cannot foresee a better selection than the semi-cascade style container.

This is a bonsai that I feel is best viewed with very full and compacted foliage. Very little trunkline is needed, in my opinion. The foliage pads "follow" the trunkline and make it obvious on a sub-conscience level. I like that, and I think it lessens the need of more wire positioning in branching, although it still remains a viable option. Just growth and pinching will greatly improve the silhouette. This is another great initial styling of raw material that will likely have excellent chances of survival. My virtuals follow.

I'm sorry that I seem to keep being one of the first to follow Walter's critiques, but this is the most exciting part of the contest for me. I hope I am not being too pushy, but I really love this stuff.

John

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soonami

This is very insightful because I was one of these people that when I first started, who, wanting a naturalistic tree decided against wire for all tress. I initially believed that the trees should be able to do what it wants without wire, and just be pushed into doing what the artist wants. Needless to say, reading what Walter has had to say on the subject here and in various forums easily convinced me that I was wrong.

Wire is simply a means to the end. If a naturalistic style is desired, by not wiring a tree, the creator of the bonsai in work, is simply conceding that he/she does not have the skill or style to artifically produce something realistic.

As for this particular tree, I don't really have an eye for semi-cascades, but nothing I see offensive. I didn't know how to comment when I voted on the tree so that is why I hadn't commented on it like I had on the rest of the trees. But looking back on it now, I can see that detail wiring of secondary and teritary branches would have greatly improved this tree, expecially since this tree is since this tree is so small. In a smaller tree, details become that much more important