critique of number 2

Walter_Pall

This is an interesting tree with a lot of movment. It is one of a kind and has personality. The best part is the nice trunkline. The crown is done carefully according to the Wetern Traditional Style. The deadwood at the moment looks like it has been very recently done. This will get much better just by itself over time.

The definitely triangular crown is not according to my personal taste. I would always avoid a sharply pointed apex. I would also want a bit less sterotype horizontal branches with clear negative spaces in between for the bird to fly through. Also there are no branches in the front. While this is the way it is being taught it is NOT classical bonai styling accordiong to the present Japanese way. These are cliches, steortypes which are way overdone on tens of thousands of bonsai. This is NOT classical bosnai styling, it is only what is CONSIDERED classical bonsai styling in the WEST.
But this is according to my personal taste becaue I have seen thousands of these and I am sick of them by now.
The crown is balanced with the strong branch to the right. One could consider to unbalance it with a strong branch to the left and thus underlinign the dramatic movement of the trunk. Most bonsai are over-balanced.
The deadwood carving could have created some smaller details.

Let's see what could have been done.

Attached Images

btc100a.jpg (48.5 KB, 150 views)

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Walter Pall

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Walter_Pall

Of course the tree looks much better if planted into a decent pot. This was NOT part of the judging. We absolutely want to avoid people planting the tree that they have just styled into a good looking pot to get the best possible picture for the contest. After that they might as well throw the tree away! Only one major insult per vegetation peroid! Either drastic styling or repotting, never both.

While looking better already we can now see what could be done with the crown and how we like it.
I am trying to only to do things that most probably could have been achieved with the original raw material right away.

Attached Images

number21.jpg (63.0 KB, 86 views)

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Walter Pall

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Walter_Pall

This is what a modern crown would do to the image. Also the tree got unbalanced on purpose by taking away from the strong branch to the right and adding to the branch on the left which is now the main one.
Thus the tree looks a lot more dynamic.

Attached Images

number22.jpg (61.9 KB, 111 views)

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Walter Pall

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Walter_Pall

One could leave the neoclassical look of the crown but balance even more by bending the top to the right.

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number24.jpg (64.6 KB, 74 views)

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Walter Pall

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Walter_Pall

Now the same thing only the crown being much more modern; round and branches in the front and branches not always horizontal and not so obvious negative spaces between the branches.

Attached Images

number25.jpg (63.8 KB, 67 views)

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Walter Pall

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Walter_Pall

Now the strong branch to the right is taken out and the one above takes the role of the main branch, balancing the crown.

This is another concept of the 'main branch' which is modern.
The main branch is NOT necessarily the lowest branch. It is the branch that sets the tone of the tree. This may well be a branch above the lowest branch. It does not even have to be the thickest and longest branch, as long as it clearly sets the tone.
If two branches are competing in that role it is a good idea for the artist to make a decision and to make one clearly stronger than the other.

So what is the best solution? It is your choice.
I like the first change to the modern crown the best.

Attached Images

number26.jpg (61.6 KB, 67 views)

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Walter Pall

CD now available online
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andrew lenden

Congratulations Maria, thanks Walter, I too like your modern crown virtual the best, would either of you think this carving of the dead wood be worth considering?

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number22.jpg (26.1 KB, 64 views)

weeijk

Walter,

Wouldnt it be better, with the tree in an unbalanced situation, getting the balance back with an oval and wider bonsaipot? Placing the tree on the right side of the pot, with the apex going to the left. I'm not at all good at virtuals, but somewhat like this?

With kind regards, Wessel

Attached Images

number22.jpg (51.5 KB, 43 views)

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Walter_Pall

Weeijk,

I think your pot is too large and takes away the elegance of the tree.
There is absolutely no need for every tree to be balanced!! This is a typical notion of the traditional style.

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Walter Pall

CD now available online
http://walter-pall.de/cdavailable2.jpg.dir/index.html
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http://walter-pall-bonsai.blogspot.com/