bonsaiTALK Community - View Single Post - Advice: Dueling Paradigms

Quote:

Originally Posted by FredL

It has been quite awhile since I last looked at Bonsaitalk, much less contributed to it. It has not been a particularly happy several months, what with a serious bought of Pancreatitis, an investment crisis, a major operation for a double hernia and treatment for depression but I have weathered it all and feel quite good at this point with it all well behind me. Life, once again, is good!

Sorry to hear about your difficult times. I'm glad things are better. Spring always helps re-orient me, I find.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FredL

I have always found these comments tiresome truisms that any fool understands and certainly not the immortal pearls of wisdom that those who offer them seem to wish to endow them with. There are several other endlessly repeated comments in the same catagory, such as the solemnly stated observation that you shouldn't collect trees on someone else's property without their permission.

Now, I asked myself when I felt my familiar irritation with these comments, why on Earth would an otherwise apparently intelligent person make such inane and uninteresting commets? And, really for the first time, asked myself this in a genuine effort to understand it.

Well, not everyone understands, for instance, that it isn't ok to collect trees on other people's property. Some people seem to feel that if property is sitting unattended it's fair game. Somebody owns it, even if it's a corporation, a government entity, or a person living in another state. And the owner is liable for whatever happens on the property. And, some want the property left as it is. For example, my wife is going to be moving up here full time in the next month. We're going to be renting out the property she owns down there, and we've got stuff growing in the ground. We wouldn't want anyone coming onto the property and just helping themselves to anything growing there just because we're not there full time to keep people out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FredL

I have sadly come to the conclusion that there are some people, perhaps many, that I just can't converse with and maintain my sanity. If I am to return to BonsaiTalk, it will be with the realization that I will probably have to use the function in operation that denies access to the threads I'm conversing on to people that make me crazy. It is not that I think they are bad people. Actually, I wish them well and apologize for my lack of flexibility and understanding in dealing with them.

I'd suggest posting less frequently if reading contrary ideas gets you that upset. There are many times that I don't jump into a discussion because it's going to get someone stirred up, and it isn't worth it. This is just a forum--it isn't life, although perhaps it is a microcosm of life.

To paraphrase what someone said in another post, don't fall into the trap of listening only to people who agree with you. I tend to be more like you in terms of being willing to explore ideas, etc. And, I've butted heads a few times on this forum. Some people have different outlooks and bring very different sets of baggage to any encounter they have with others. That's life.

Also, be wary of trying to see life and the world through one particular lens, whether it's the author that you mentioned, or any other lens. Life and the world doesn't fit into neat contrasting categories, the sort of "there are two kinds of people in the world" sorts of categories that people joke about. Having a rigid view (and I'm not suggesting that you're being rigid) makes life unnecessarily difficult.

Craig Cowing