bonsaiTALK Community - View Single Post - Hi honey I'm home! and a juniper too!

Alright, "Smoke."

First of all, welcome back.

Second of all, let's talk about this tree of yours.

It's great to see it coming along, and I've got one in a big growing pot that was inspired by this specific tree way back when. I like the general direction, and I'm pleased to see the improvement. But a few comments, straight to the point, no BS.

I like the tree, but I don't like the apex yet. Maybe it isn't finished, and just needs to fill out. I also see a green happy foliage mass atop a white tortured trunk.

I personally don't mind the "life in the tea garden" imagery of lush green foliage contrasting with tortured trunk. But I do expect the two to interact. I want to see deadwood interlaced among the foliage, and visa versa. A white jin or two emerging from the canopy would work wonders.

Even at this stage, a little bit of extra shaping would have gone a long way with the canopy. Compare my virtual. I haven't even created foliage layers - just improved the profile. Maybe this is beside the point because you are trying to grow the foliage out. But you did display it in a (semi-)formal setting, so I thought it was fair game for critique.

And the accent plant...yikes. To be (to be frank) it just doesn't work. First, it doesn't really related well with the tree. There's no line of flow between the two, no sympathetic movement. The upward jin on the trunk prevent that side from flowing to the right. I'd rather see the placement reversed. Second, the accent itself. The two foliage balls that have spilled out look flacid, not cascading. They're like the eyes of some cartoon character, having popped out on springs at the site of danger or money or a pretty girl, but then having failed to return to their rightful spots, they just dangle on their springs. They don't direct the movement to the right any more than an a garden hose that has been turned off can spray across the yard; instead you just get a feeble trickle.

So those are my thoughts. I do look forward to seeing this tree as you move it toward the target and as you find it a better supporting actor in the formal display.

With my best regards,
Carl