Al,
I'd like to give this a go however I find it difficult critique a two dimensional tree.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
Positives:
1. The trunk is very large and buttressed. It flows into the soil and shows some basal flare. There seems to be a great amount of taper in the trunk."
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Agreed the trunk base is pleasing.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
"2. The nebari is present and shows some age."
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Agreed as well.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
3. The form of the tree is in proportion with the size of the tree and seems adaquately pinched."
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Tree has nice form but this all depends on what look you are trying to achieve. It seems you are aiming for a traditional form moyogi with the branching in the right places and space for birds to fly through. My personal taste is to have a more fuller rounded top porpotion of the tree.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
4. Branch structure is well formed, and meets the requirements for open spaces with in the foliage.
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Again this comes down to personal taste. I like seeing the lower branches have space and structure but my personal taste is to have the canopy more full and not require individual branches to have space.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
5. Tree looks very healthy and the leaves seem reduced well."
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Agreed.
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6. The apex sits firmly over the base of the trunk. Very traditional moyogi style"
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Agreed if that is the style you are after.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
The negatives:
1. The branching is the most visable flaw. The first branch on the right needs to have some branch structure showing for the illusion of age. It is missing on this tree.( and for good reason, it 'is' missing)"
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Agreed. The first branch is not full enough. I would like to see a more fuller branch there.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
2. The second branch is small in proportion to the first branch and looks like it could be shaded out by the third branch or the one above it.
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Hard to tell in 2 dimensional.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
3. The nebari could be stronger. The roots coming off the right side of the trunk seem good, but their counterparts are missing."
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I think the nebari is good. You don't have to have huge root spread like you see in Japanese trees but more realistic ones are nice too.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
4. The pot does not help create the best image for this tree. While the bamboo and the soft corners help, it would look best in a low large oval with either yellow or biscuit brown glaze. I opt for the yellow."
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Agreed a nice glazed low oval sounds good.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
5. The apex part of the canopy is troubling. I feel the the very top is sort of pom pom like. The apex needs to spread more and fill a larger image to fully acentuate the trees lines and form.
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This is my major dislike of the tree. I agree it is pom pom in nature and why I like to see decidious trees with more fuller and rounded canopies. It seem you don't have enough branching to achieve this more fuller canopy.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
6. The second branch on the right seems to be a pocket branch and should either lessoned in size or removed. At this point I see why it is retained as it would make a very large void in this part of the tree.
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It might be a pocket branch but if removed the gap would be too great. It is a required branch to keep and I believe it could possibly be disguised.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
The left side is less structured then the right. I feel that the left side needs lengthening in the branches to fill out the future image for the tree.
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Again I feel this comes back to having a better canopy.
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Originally Posted by bonsaial1
A very nice tree with some flaws, but nothing too large to overcome. The nebari can be fixed with some thread grafts or inarch grafts in the spring. A repot would do wonders. The branches just need more time to thicken and I suspect this will happen over the next couple of years. A thickening of the apex could happen in a season and I plan on focusing on that next year."]
All are welcome to critique this tree.
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Al, I love the trunk on this trident. I love the base of the trunk and the colour of it. It is powerful and has movement. This tree has obviously been grown to form a future moyogi style and this is definitely the style you should go for.
I have two possible suggestions/vituals that I would consider for this tree if it were mine.
The first one is to keep the branching as is and work on having a fuller canopy.
The second requires the removal of the lower branches and exposing that beautiful trunk and having a full canopy.
I believe that because the basic structure of the tree will always have to be a moyogi style then a naturalistic style is out of the question and the more "pine" style will be what should be attempted.
I hope I have made sense.
Here are the two virtuals for the above suggestions. I haven't changed the pot though.