LOL Bonsaial you caught me.
"Do you feel that you will provide more soul at some later date? Are you holding back your soul now, so that you can really make a charge later?"
To clarify when I sketch the plans for my trees I do put my soul into it. When I care for them I do also. However at the present I am so lacking experience that when I attempt something like wiring it becomes a very mechanical process. I imagine with time and more hands on experience it will become natural and I will be able to effectively "put my soul into it". At the present time I seam to be kicking and tripping over my soul when pushing my comfort zone and feeling like I may just kill at tree. lol Maybe if I killed one I wouldn't be so afraid of it happening.
I think I get what you are saying though and my thought is we are simply not articulating things clearly.
The sentence " I do bonsai to please myself" can mean several things.
1) I don't care to compete but want to do bonsai to the best of my ability
2) I don't care what anyone thinks of my bonsai they are mine
3) I would like to make great bonsai but as long as I like it I will be happy
4) As long as it's alive and I like it that's all I want
I imagine most who make the above comment fall into the first category.
FredL I can totally relate to your running story. That is exactly how dressage is for me. Once I stopped competing I found new joy in what was once "required training" now to me it is a freeing of my spirit and my proficiency increased tremendously and still is increasing by leaps and bounds.
I am a very competitive person by nature and see that my drive to be the best was overshadowing my love for dressage in and of itself there fore taking the joy out of it. Perhaps this is why bonsai for me doesn't and will not involve competition. hmmm famous last words lol okay by that last statement "will not involve competition" I can almost guaranty that one day it will involve competition. lol
LOL Did I talk in enough of a circle there for everyone?