Thanks, stp!
Maybe it screams "tree" because its unkept canopy makes it seem naturalistic rather than bonsai-stylized.
(I find that Hinoki cypress seem not to understand the basic aesthetic principles of bonsai - rather than respecting the proper development of foliage pads and canopy form, they are prone to die back when and where they want to. This one is no exception. This fall it picked a random smattering of branch tips and interior regions and cast them aside. )
On the positive side, this one has developed quite a nice nebari, here hidden by the moss that I placed to concel all the wire tie-downs holding it into its recovery pot.
Cheers,
Carl