|
bonsaiTALK Journeyman
Join Date: Jul-2002
Location: Spokane Wa
Posts: 25
|
Andy, bronze placement justification
Andy,
I feel rather differently about the layout of the bronse swamp reed and pine composition. The way that it was presented for the show was more in keeping with basic viewing principles, especially in regards to the preferences of my own eye.
First lets get the problems out of the way. Pots one and three speak to each other aesthetically. Pot two is rather a large step in a completely new direction. Not only that, but I wonder at the blocky union between the pot and cat tail as circled.
I would say that I see a more naturalistic form in the cat tail than you expressed seeing. I noted in my picture that the leave actually curved around the flower which was deceptive at first myself, and may have lead others to belive it was a stiffer composition than it actually is. This is one of those subtle visual clues that remind us we are missing out in a dimension not being there in person. On the other hand, I doubt they would let us pull out the colored pens and write all over their trees to establish a point.
In the actual presentation (the larger one) My eye enters the frame at a point on or near the left edge of the tree (at the red arrow). It enters teh canopy via the belegant sweep of teh left lower branch and may choose to rest therew a while, or may flow down the "incomplete side of the triangle of foliage. The movement is prompted in that direction by the starkly contrasting deadwood spiral up and out the jinned branch. That is the launching point.
The swamp plants to the right catch us and guide us back around to be propelled back to teh base of the original tree. Too have added a wooden stand as traditional easthetics call for would be introducing a fourth element to the composition. An akward even number that would most certainly cause balance issues, as well as tinker with the odd number preferences of the asian asthetic.
The larger accent is placed a bit forward of the main form, while the small is placed back. You were wise to keep this form in your study as its effect in the third dimension (actual viewing) is to repeat the flow. We have triangles within triangles within triangles. A very powerfull graphic element. Even teh larger bronce is a small triangle of its own (this is another failing of the smaller accent.) If a stand was to be introduced a very low wood one with the plant at its extreme left and its right edge reaching to fill the space occupied by teh smallest accent might be employed but it would call for the elimination of said accent. Thus maintaning the odd number. It would unfortunatly lose the extra depth afforded by the horizontal repetition of the theme.
With your composition (inset) my eye starts in space above the weakest point, pot number two. The bronzes become stronger elements than they deserve given the beauty of the tree. The fact is, any artistic competition with nature is a non-starter. Humans prefer the natural in a very strong way. We challenge that by actually encouraging teh eye to rest on teh bronze much longer and in a much more significant way than it should.
The fine triangular form is lost (or severly flattened) and the dialog between elements becomes linear. The stark contrast of the jin may actually cause the eye to shift completely out of the composition. I also feel (and this is more subjective) that teh little plant becomes irredimable in your composition. It acts as a cell tower amid a copse of low trees.
My evaluation, summed up, would be; the artist chose to fill the percieved void in the trees triangular form. (This negative space is one of the trees biggest advatages when it stands alone, but a liability in a grouping.) The smallest peice could be righted with an apprpriate pot (same height but more relevent style; perhaps a lip and). Its overall successfull. Which is more than I can say for some. In defense of rips choosing one of the most successfull trees to make his point, I feel you chose the a few of the least.
Respectfully,
Justin
|